Hail and hello! Welcome to another head-banging, steel cage death match between me and the spammers. They got some good licks in while I was at work, but when I came home it was like Thunderdome, baby, and they went down like MasterBlaster.

Of course, maybe should I leave one or two of the comments up, just so I can say that someone reads the blog…

Anyway, you were all kind enough to leave me a question or three to answer and I’m here to answer them! Let’s get started!

Sean Bayless asks:

As an author, whose writings do you enjoy reading and who do you count as an influence?

Great question! Like most authors, I’d have to say that my style evolved by first reading a lot of the authors I liked, mimicking their voice, and eventually blending all of those voices in with my own to make something on the verge of unique. I’ve heard the following names referenced when reading my work and I think it’s a strong list of likely suspects for why I write the way I do: Robert B. Parker, Alan Moore, F. Scott Fitzgerald and William Shakespeare. (Though I often suspect people say such things out of flattery more than anything else.)

Peanut butter: chunky or smooth?

I used to love the chunky when I was a kid. Then I became chunky and now I walk a different road. An endless road. We call it a treadmill.

And reader Bill wants to know:

You recently posted that you graduated out of the newbie lessons on to the elementary. How long did that take?

FOREVER.

Just kidding. I’ve been studying Mandarin through ChinesePod for I guess about eight months now. I took some time off in there to let some stuff gel, or because my schedule demanded it, but that’s how long I’ve been on the ride. Now… I know that I’ve just announced that I graduated into the Elementary zone, but the truth is that I started in on the Elementary lessons about four months ago. When you first begin, as you can attest, nothing is familiar. So everything you learn is all new. That’s the first hurdle.

After a while, though, you begin to listen to the Newbie lessons and you get less and less out of them. Maybe five or six new words. Maybe less. And that’s the point I’m at now. I listen to the lessons and I only hear one or two words I didn’t know before. When you get to that stage, the Elementary lessons are actually not much different. The sentences are longer, but they’ve done a good job of preparing you for what was in store.

To make a long story even longer, you’re doing just fine, man. Stick to your guns and all of this will seem second nature before you know it!

Last, but not least, the beautiful and amazing Colleen braced me with:

If you could go for hotpot with any person living or dead, who would it be?

I’d like to take my sweetie to Shanghai for some hot pot, now that you mention it. And while we’re there… well, golly… it would be swell if my friends at ChinesePod would stop by!

* * *

Thanks, kids. That was fun! And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for…

I’ve started to get the answers back for the Friday Five feature that I promised you! This Friday…

…the one… the only… Jenny Zhu.

Be here.

(Bazza, you do NOT want to miss this.)