Talk about absurdities! Guess what’s in the running for the single most well-known Chinese phrase in my head? I’m talking about the kind of phrase that I could say without thinking about it; the kind of phrase that’s so innate it comes off my tongue as readily as English.

Yeah. You guessed it.

圣诞快乐
Shèngdàn kuàilè
Merry Christmas

I’ve said this so many times in the last few days that I’ll never forget it. It’s right up there with “ni hao” for fluency.

It couldn’t be “where’s the bathroom?” Or maybe, “I swear I thought she was 18!” Or even, “Can I have this without the head still attached?” No, no. The phrase permanently entrenched in my brain is “shèngdàn kuàilè!”

How is that fair? Why can I remember the word for toilet paper (wèi shēng zhǐ), but I can’t remember the word for toilet (wèi shēng jiān)? And yes, I had to go look that up. Again.

So here I sit, at the end of Christmas Day with a fluent phrase I won’t be able to use again for another 364 days.

GAH! *shakes fist*

Well… to hoolies with that! That’s going to become my standard greeting from now on! Let’s see how people like that! December 24th? Shèngdàn kuàilè! Middle of August? Shèngdàn kuàilè! First day of Spring? Shèngdàn kuàilè!

I’ll show ‘em! Mua-ha-ha-ha!

Shèngdàn kuàilè!!!